Marilyn Monroe: Man Magnet Without A Man

Everyone knows who Marilyn Monroe is – but few know her story.

She was a dazzling sex-kitten and mistress of seduction. But Marilyn was far more than the one-dimensional “fuck me” persona she portrayed. In reality, she is a complex and multifaceted woman.

• During the 1950s and early ‘60s, actresses were expected to have studio romances to get publicity. Marilyn Monroe refused. 
• Her decision did not sit well with the men running the studios, who decided to fight her wishes. Determined to make her comply with their prescribed image of a submissive sex kitten, they discredited her by labeling her as stubborn, spoiled, and unprofessional.
• Marilyn was first married at 16 years old to a high school classmate. He joined the Merchant Marines. 
• In his absence, she started her Hollywood career and divorced him.
• Ten years later, she married baseball superstar Joe DiMaggio – a traditional alpha male. But he could not tolerate her independence, star power, and, most of all, sexual energy being shared on film. She cites her performance in The Seven-Year Itch as a cause for ending the marriage.
• Here’s a quote from her at the time: "He said ... exposing my legs and thighs, even my crotch — that was the last straw."

• So, Marilyn set up her own studio, the Marilyn Monroe Production Company, in 1954. This was something a number of actresses did in the 1920s and ’30s in an effort to gain more artistic freedom and a bigger share of the profits.
• However, the one thing Marilyn is said to have wanted more than anything else in the world is love.
• As time went on, Marilyn kept looking for true love.
• She was willing to make great sacrifices to find her soul mate, tearing herself apart to satisfy their egos.

• So, she started a relationship with acclaimed playwright Arthur Miller began when he was married to someone else. The two eventually got married.
• “This is the first time I've been really in love,” Marilyn declared in 1956. Instead of taking acting roles, Marilyn cooked, cleaned, and took care of Miller's children. When she went back to work, starring in The Misfits, a film he wrote, he called her “embarrassing.”
• In 1960, Marilyn declared, "Arthur said it’s his movie. I don’t think he even wants me in it. It’s all over." They divorced that year. After the split, Marilyn said, “Maybe there’s no man who could put up with all of me.”
• When Marilyn realized that Arthur Miller was unwilling to love her as she truly was, she fell apart.
• In an attempt to fill the void that lovelessness creates, Marilyn, like many goddesses of sex, developed an addiction. Hers was to alcohol and prescription drugs.
• Marilyn fatally overdosed 19 months after her divorce from Miller.

We often conflate admiration with love. During her life, Marilyn Monroe had all the male attention on earth; in fact, she still gets it after her death. However, she was left unfulfilled, misunderstood, and unloved.

I think some of the obsession with her today is because she is “forever young,” the ideal feminine form of most men. Having died at only 36 years old, Marilyn was rendered forever fresh, becoming an everlasting repository for men’s projections.

There are other goddesses of sex who are frozen in time like this and worshipped for it. Some examples that come to mind are Anna Nicole Smith, Amy Winehouse, and even Cleopatra, who died by suicide at 39.

Although Marilyn is an icon, many non-celebrities with the same archetype face the same challenges Marilyn experienced. 

Just as Joe Dimaggio abandoned Marilyn for “Playing the wrong role” in the 7-Year Itch, these women meet men who censor their sexuality and public image. They are initially attracted to you because of your sexual magnetism, but once they have you, they want to put you in a closet at home and keep you there. But they go out hunting for another sexy girl. There are lots of men who are obsessed with the chase.

Some men don’t do this; they will worship and be attracted to you even after you’re in a relationship with them. But Marilyn didn’t seek them out. She kept going for players. She was addicted to them!

Let’s talk about Marilyn’s other addictions for a moment. Seductresses often fall into various addictions, whether it be alcohol, drugs, work or gambling, etc.

In my mind, all addictions are a way to avoid something. It’s an escape from the truth. The truth Marilyn needed is to accept that she was attracted to the wrong men - she needed to sort out the men who were healthy for her and could provide her true love. If the player was never going to commit to Marilyn Monroe, good luck to everyone else.

Now, there are clear steps to get to that point. Love always starts with you. Marilyn needed to evolve to a point where she had the self-esteem to choose a guy who would worship her as the sex goddess she was.

She was striving to get onto this healing journey by making her own way and building a production company. She wanted to become financially independent, which was a significant step. But Marilyn had no support. If anything, everyone around her was an obstacle to her her self-actualization. For example, her doctors prescribed Marilyn drugs to control her and keep her in a cage. She needed people who really had her best interest at heart to protect her.

But the truth is, you need to get rid of your “worst.” That means your dependency on men and reactivity to how others treat you. Don’t get angry or self-destructive when someone mistreats you, GET OUT!

Some things need to come before romance: they are choices, self-knowledge, and self-esteem. You can’t find true love if you’d have them first.

• You need to get more practical and disciplined.
• Stay single until you’ve developed self-worth, be alone!
• Get to know you (which she was trying, but men were getting in the way)
• Marilyn faced her demons and didn’t know how to make peace with them. She really needs therapy, but instead, she got drugs.

There’s a famous quote from Marilyn that many women connect to today.