Lilith: The First Woman
Adam demanded that Lilith submit and lie beneath him both in sex and life, but she refused. She chose to leave him and the Garden of Eden. Her power was non-negotiable. She decided to honor her self-respect.
After fleeing Eden, religious texts say Lilith “lived in a cave, birthing many demons.” When Lilith fled Paradise, she was cast as a succubus, a terrifying and vicious seducer who sexually devoured men and whose wet dreams gave birth to demons. She is said to live in a desert cave, having unfettered sex with water creatures. She is often depicted coiled by Satan, the crafty serpent.
Throughout history, Lilith’s power has been reviled and branded as "the dark and uncontrollable feminine.” In Hebrew-language texts, her name translates into derogatory terms such as "night creature," "night monster," "night hag," and "screech owl."
Art interprets her as a sexually wanton demon of the night. The Dead Sea Scrolls place her name on a list of monsters.
In Mesopotamian and Judaic mythology, Lilith was the first woman on earth and Adam's first wife. She was created at the same time and from the same clay as Adam, unlike Eve, who was born from his rib.
In all of these tales, Lilith is an evil seductress.
After Lilith abandoned Adam, he cried out to God in his loneliness. God crafted Eve from one of Adam’s ribs to replace her. Eve, unlike Lilith, was not an individual created as Adam’s equal but an extension of Adam. His relationship with Eve is based on her being his subservient help. She is there to fulfill his desire; she has no freedom of choice in love. In contrast, Lilith’s love had been balanced and harmonious, and when that changed, she left.
In Mesopotamian myths, she’s portrayed as a storm demon associated with the wind that brings disease, illness, and death. In Jewish lore, she even flies around searching for newborn children to kidnap or strangle.
But is Lilith a demon? No. However, religion, which is designed mainly by men, brands her as such. I believe that’s to discourage women from being seductresses like her. If you don’t embrace your power as Lilith did, you will never have the strength to leave Eden and become independent from the Adam in your life.
But what’s wrong with being dependent? Eden sounds like a nice place to shack up.
Well, take a look at Eve’s life. Even when Eve complied with Adam’s demands for her subservience, this second, more obedient woman was also demonized and scapegoated for the fall of humanity. (Never mind that Adam ate from the apple too.)
Many modern women are not too different from Lilith. I’m not saying their demons – but they have been demonized for their strength, independence, and sexual appetite.
At the Synod of Hippo in 393, the Catholic Church simply erased Lilith, and a new story was sanctioned and adopted. This story – of Adam and Eve – was then incorporated into the Bible's Old Testament in place of Lilith’s story.
Lilith’s story, which portrayed a woman’s profound sexual nature and independence from her man, was a problem for the early Catholic Church. The Church could not allow a story that went against one of its main guiding principles: that men are superior and that women should comply with men’s sexual demands, to remain in the story of creation. Lilith had to be obliterated from the Bible.
But why does everyone know of Eve, but so few have even heard of Lilith?
When you have overcome this deep-rooted dependence on men, you are finally free to face the uncertainty of life and tackle it head-on. Getting rid of this reliance is initially a significant struggle, but ultimately, it is an outstanding achievement. This new power is indescribable.
Now, Lilith is not a fully healed woman nor a perfect role model for contemporary goddesses of sex.
Independence was part of her nature. She saw herself as Adam’s equal. She had self-esteem and walked out of the Garden of Eden as a free woman.
After Adam’s demand for her subservience failed, Lilith left the Garden of Eden. Since her departure, Adam and his progeny have maligned her. Lilith’s strength and high self-esteem are by no means the norm for women in general. We can all learn from her. We don’t need to depend on the validation of men as a means to build up their self-esteem.
Lilith is evolved in some ways but waiting for the world to catch up. She left, which was a good step, and began the process of healing herself, but never finished.
Lilith and countless goddesses of sex since her have been demonized and told to repress their independence and sexuality. Or at least perform on demand for men.
Rather than just wait for Adam to catch up, finish the job you started. You demanded a good partner, and now it's time to find someone who will appreciate your demand for reciprocal love as equals. You can’t wait for others to grow; you must grow yourself.
A lot of women with the strength to leave subpar men become bitter. They sit on the sidelines of love. Many women scarred by past traumas give up on true love or decide they should continue a cycle of poisonous relationships - as Lilith did.
I’m sure we’ve all met someone who has decided “men are shit,” so they just have casual sex with men they don’t respect and who don’t respect them. That’s not feminism or self-empowerment - in fact, it lets them win! They get all of you, and you ask for nothing in return. Becoming jaded doesn’t heal you; it helps the bad guys.
We have to recognize our self-responsibility when it comes to romantic relationships. Rather than just blaming the men who hurt us, we must take stock of what we are doing to heal and find better partners. It’s not just on men to be good to women; we have to put in the effort to find someone worthy of our love.
If Lilith were my client, I’d tell her:
Let’s get Biblical. In Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, which account for more than half of the world’s population, the masculine is worshiped in as superior. Meanwhile, the Feminine is hidden in nature and shadows and scapegoated as darkness.
This story is about the biblical woman Lilith and how the subordination of the “goddesses of sex” goes way back to the creation story.
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