Cleopatra: The Insatiable Sex Queen

Plutarch, a Greek philosopher of her age, wrote that “those who had seen Cleopatra knew that neither in youthfulness nor in beauty was she superior to Octavia,” the first wife of Roman ruler Marc Antony. Yet Cleopatra had the power to seduce and even steal Anthony away. How did she capture the hearts of the most powerful men of her day?

Cleopatra was admired for her intellect and oration. She was well-educated in chemistry, economics, mercantile strategy, military theory, and law. This Queen was particularly gifted in linguistics; she was the first Pharaoh to become fluent in all the languages spoken in her empire. That means she mastered at least nine tongues. And this was before there were apps or online courses! It was these skills that drew the most mighty suitors of the ancient world to her bed.

Cleopatra is a “goddess of sex” because of her charisma and seductive spirit. When Marc Antony first summoned her, she sailed up to him under a golden canopy dressed as Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, beauty, sex, and seduction herself. She even dressed her maids as sea nymphs, some steering at the rudder, some working at the ropes.

Accounts say Cleopatra even dipped her sails in perfume, so her suitor could smell her scent as she went down the river.

The woman had style. She also was brilliantly ruthless.

Modern-day women can learn plenty from her. One: your wits and cleverness are more important than your looks. Sure, beauty certainly helps to get laid. BUT - Cleopatra was much more interested in conquering the world.

We can become conquerors, using seduction to achieve it.

Now, women are often told that men are threatened by a woman who is their equal. Most people would assume powerful men like Julius Ceasar and Mark Anthony would demand a pretty mouse. Cleopatra proves that’s not the case.

Why?

Although masculinity and femininity are not based on gender or biological sex, everyone holds an idealized image of a mate. Psychologists refer to the inner masculinity in a woman as an “animus” and label the inner femininity in a man the “anima.” These are our other half.

For heterosexual women, their template of perfect masculinity is seen in their animus – the man within them, their “Internal Other.” Cleopatra’s inner man was an insatiable emperor, a general, and a politician–just like her lovers.

Many modern seductresses are often attracted to alpha men, which Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony definitely were. The alpha male tends to view seduction only as a conquest, and they were professional conquerors. But so was Cleopatra. She was their true equal.

Just like Cleopatra, no one cared how Julius Caesar looked. Both their charisma was attractive. They both had an energetic saunter and carried themselves with an innate confidence, if not bravado. Both had a flare for grand gestures: romantic dates, extravagant gifts, and love-bombing.

Often, alpha males disrespect women. Rather than running from it, many of us find their misogyny magnetic. Some take on the challenge of “taming him” or being “the woman worth settling down for.”

But Cleopatra never fell into these patterns - these men even risked their power in defense of her, had her look over their military plans, and brought her to Rome as a respected leader.

Many of us have experienced mistreatment from these men and have found the gifts and love are just as quickly pulled away as they were given. However, Cleopatra operated exactly the same. Caesar stood by her, loyally to the end - his literal end as he was assassinated for becoming too tyrannical. But she moved on and found someone just as powerful.

Sadly, throughout history, women have most often been taught that being beautiful and feminine is their only source of power with men, and femininity must remain submissive. They are pressured to repress their animus – their inner conquerer. When women deny the leanings of their animus, it sadly resides in their unconscious, where they have no control over it and cannot harness its potential.

If we’re not conscious of our animus, so when it shows up, it takes us over, and we become reactive; it fills us with rage and frustration rather than empowering us.

If women believe the power of their internal masculine is unattractive, something to be banished, they will remain forever subservient to men or in constant conflict and confusion. But when integrated, the animus provides the power to get our wants and needs met.

Cleopatra conquered the conquerors. She broke out of the cycle of women being controlled and subjugated by powerful men. She actually pulled the strings often on their governance. After losing Ceasar, she put Mark Anthony on a campaign to take over Rome. Eventually, they both knew they were outgunned but refused to surrender. Cleopatra was never satisfied with just ruling Egypt. She wanted it all.

When facing defeat, she committed suicide. Anthony, upon discovering this, killed himself too.

What is Cleopatra’s lesson for modern women? It’s crucial to find satisfaction in life.

You need to keep on trucking. Cleopatra's ego was out of control to the point hubris killed her. If she were my client, I’d tell her to be satisfied with the many things she had. Sure, she was on a losing streak, but she could have survived the war and lived to fight another day. She needed to compromise, negotiate peace, and even tap into a little more radical love and compassion.

You don’t need to let go of your strength. Most women need to tap into it. Seduction often is a means of conquest rather than connection. However, modern goddesses of sex must learn to be satisfied and find joy in their achievements.

In many ways, Cleopatra had it all - but yet it was never enough. There’s a lot modern women can take from her story. It has the concepts of acceptance and satisfaction, and even if you have the ruler of the free world eating out of the palm of your hand, if you’re not content, it doesn’t matter.

Most people know Cleopatra was the queen of Egypt, a femme fatale, and had infamous affairs with both Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony.